Aligning Personal Purpose with Professional Leadership

Most of us are familiar with the term IQ (intelligent quotient) and EQ (Emotional Quotient) – but how familiar are you with your MQ or Motivational Quotient? MQ is the driving force behind our ambitions and growth, influenced by factors like goals, confidence, personality, and attitude. But while many leaders pay special attention to IQ and EQ, ones MQ can differentiate a truly successful leader from the rest.

This episode of ‘Bring Out the Talent’ welcomes Sam Caballero, a seasoned Talent Development expert, Pivotn co-founder, CEO, and Coach, and a key figure in talent cultivation at the Air Force Reserve Command and the International Coaching Federation. Together, we'll discuss the pivotal role of personal purpose and motivation in steering impactful leadership, the significance of MQ in navigating leadership challenges, and how aligning personal values with professional responsibilities can elevate leadership effectiveness. So, tune in to elevate your leadership game by harnessing your motivational intelligence.

Transcript

Jocelyn Allen:
Hi, Sam. Hi, Maria. Lovely to be with you again. Thanks for setting off the vibes because I recognize that when we start dancing is when the show really starts. Even if you're sitting still and you start moving and people are like, oh, we're supposed to do that. It's like, yes, you're supposed to dance. Absolutely.

Maria Melfa:
Get with the program, people. And Sam jumped right in. So we appreciate Sam jumping in. Well, I had some extra time. Mushroom coffee today. And I'm really, really loving this. If you guys have not tried it, I will do an endorsement for Rise. I am not getting paid for it, but it is good stuff. I really, really like...

Jocelyn Allen:
R-Y-C-E, right? For Rise?

Maria Melfa:
Yeah. I see you drinking it and it smells like... I love the way that it smells. Yeah, it's really, really good.

Maria Melfa:
So it's about five different types of mushrooms and it's good stuff. Needless to say, it's going to be an exciting episode. It should be exciting. I'm extra hyper. Great. Okay. So I'm very excited about our topic today. It's something that I think we need to talk more about, and it's all about motivation and what we can do to hone that in more.

So let's get started. Most of us are very familiar with the term IQ, intelligent quotient, and emotional quotient, EQ. But how familiar are you with MQ or motivational quotient?

MQ is the driving force behind our ambitions and growth, influenced by factors like goals, confidence, personality, attitude, upbringing. No, I just added that — but probably, right? But while many leaders pay special attention to IQ and EQ, MQ can differentiate a truly successful leader from the rest.

In this episode, we're joined by our friend and consultant, Sam Caballero. Sam is a talent development professional and co-founder, CEO, and pivot coach for Pivot. Sam is also a Senior Advisor for the Professional Development Center, Air Force Reserve Command, and an Associate Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation.

With his extensive experience, Sam will discuss how personal purpose and motivation are crucial for impactful leadership. He'll explore the role of MQ in decision-making, tackling leadership challenges, and the importance of aligning personal values with professional duties. Sam will also offer insights on how leaders can synchronize their personal and professional objectives to enhance their leadership capabilities.

Welcome, Sam. What an incredible background.

Sam Caballero:
Thank you, Maria. I appreciate it.

Maria Melfa:
So when did you get into synchronized swimming?

David (Producer):
The last time I got thrown into a pool and told to swim.

Jocelyn Allen:
That's what we called it, right? Synchronized swimming.

David (Producer):
That actually happened to me when I was in summer camp years ago. They just threw me right in the pool and looked at me and said, you need to swim. I said, okay.

Maria Melfa:
That was the good old-fashioned days when we just did that to our children. Learn by doing.

David (Producer):
Absolutely. And it still echoes today.

Maria Melfa:
So Sam, I read an article that summed up IQ, EQ, and MQ for leaders. They said: IQ is how capable professionals are at their job, EQ is how emotionally aware they are and how they interact with others, and MQ is how they propagate motivation and vision within the organization.

I love that explanation. Can you talk a little bit more about MQ and why it's crucial for someone in a leadership position? How does it help leaders take decisive action?

Sam Caballero:
Thank you very much for that question, Maria. I remember my brother-in-law and I used to own a small business where we exported pallets into the United States. We didn't know exactly what was in the pallets — but believe me, they were safe — nothing in there other than just stuff.

We had a contact in Mexico City who found these pallets. We'd buy them, ship them here, and sell them to vendors at the flea market. It took a long time to find a good contact. We finally found one, and he invited us to Mexico City, along with other people he did business with. He said, "I'm going to take you to a fine restaurant. They have this dish that gives you vitality and strength."

I'm like, okay, vitality and strength, I want some of that. I had no idea what he was talking about. We went to this restaurant in the Polanco area — absolutely beautiful. We walked in, and on the table were chips, salsas — all kinds. And when it was time for appetizers, they brought out escamoles.

Have you ever heard of escamoles, Maria?

Maria Melfa:
Not interested — but learning more...

Sam Caballero:
Escamoles are red carpenter ant larvae, mixed with egg, cilantro, tomatoes, and onions. I thought to myself, oh God...

Jocelyn Allen:
At least they put cilantro in there, right? Maybe. Wow.

Sam Caballero:
My brother-in-law and I thought, “What are we going to do?” When you look at the word “motivation,” it’s interesting. The first two letters — M-O — show up in a lot of words: motive, money, motion. In Spanish, the word "mover" means “to move.”

So, what will move you to do what's necessary?

At that table, I didn’t want to embarrass him — he was a great host. I didn’t want to embarrass myself either. Someone else at the table said, “I’m not eating that.” And we were talking about $10,000 pallets at the time — money and trust were on the line.

So I ate it. And honestly? It was really good.

There was another plate with worms, gusanos — big ones, the size of your finger. I tried it. I will not eat that again.

Maria Melfa:
Did you have margaritas while you were doing this?

Sam Caballero:
I sure did. I needed to. But that experience was an early lesson for me in motivation — recognizing my own motivational quotient. What are you willing to do even when you don’t want to? Deep down, you have to make a move. So what will move you?

Jocelyn Allen:
What a great story, Sam. You’re such a strong storyteller. You took something abstract and turned it into something we can actually feel. Now I can imagine what ants and cilantro taste like — and I’ll also pass.

Where do you get your motivational quotient from? What inspired you to study MQ in the first place?

Sam Caballero:
I started in L&D as a military training instructor — a drill sergeant. Smoky bear hat, metal taps on my boots. And I learned pretty quickly that while you can make someone do something, it doesn't mean they’ll care.

Fear is one motivator, sure. But the more powerful one is internal: “This means something to me.” I started asking, “What does it mean to be Sam?”

Statistically, most men don’t mature until their late 20s or early 30s...

Jocelyn Allen:
Really? That soon?

Maria Melfa:
It is a biological fact. The frontal lobe doesn’t develop until later.

David (Producer):
For some, yes. Absolutely.

Maria Melfa:
Exactly. But Sam, where do women land on average?

Jocelyn Allen:
I’d say 18 to 25.

Sam Caballero:
Yeah.

Maria Melfa:
I’ve read that, too. I wonder if that’s changing with how much more people stay indoors, interact differently with tech, and delay major life steps.

Jocelyn Allen:
Yeah. And there’s the biological side of maturity and the behavioral one. Like, are you self-aware enough to see what’s triggering you before you act?

That’s part of what MQ is too, right?

Sam Caballero:
Yes. When I hit my 30s, I was a father, a husband, a service member. I asked myself — what’s my purpose?

In Spanish, the word is “propósito.” "Pro" — what you put forward. "Pósito" — what’s meaningful to you.

For me, it came down to this: I truly enjoy helping people — not just helping them, but helping them help themselves. That idea connected my mind and heart. Once I wrote it down and believed it, I understood my “why.” And that gave me motivation.

Jocelyn Allen:
Love that. And thank you for the beautiful segue, because identifying your personal purpose — your reason why — really is the starting point for everything.

That “start with why” conversation has been gaining traction lately because it matters. What you think, how you feel — it all matters when you’re aligning personal purpose to organizational goals.

So let’s talk about that. In your view, how does a leader take their own personal purpose and align it with their professional role? How do they apply that in the workplace?

Sam Caballero:
That’s an awesome question.

My father-in-law passed away recently. In his honor, instead of trading gifts, we exchanged books. The one I chose was Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning.

If you’re not familiar, Dr. Frankl was a psychiatrist from Vienna. He had the opportunity to leave for the U.S. during the Nazi occupation but chose to stay with his parents. He was captured and sent to Auschwitz with his wife. Despite the horror, he found meaning.

One of the most powerful ideas in the book is to focus on the now. Not the past. Not the things out of your control. What matters is how you interpret and respond to your situation — how you define your purpose in the moment.

That’s what leaders need to do. You can’t control everything in the organization. You can control your mindset, your response, your energy. That awareness of your own “why” empowers you to act intentionally.

So I take that into my work — as a reservist, a consultant, a father — and I remind myself, I can’t control what happens, but I can control how I respond. And I can choose to grow through it.

Jocelyn Allen:
Wow. That story is so powerful — and your connection to it, honoring your father-in-law, that’s beautiful.

And you’re right — fear is such a big part of this. A lot of people are afraid of what others will think if they show up differently, or what the consequences might be if they take a risk. That fear is real.

Is that a common barrier you see when people are working to understand and act on their motivational quotient?

Sam Caballero:
Absolutely. And let’s just name it: senior imposter syndrome.

Jocelyn Allen:
Yes. A thousand percent. I know I’ve experienced that.

Sam Caballero:
Same here. Last week, even.

I was leading a session, and a leader just didn’t want to connect with me. And I internalized it — like, “What did I do wrong?” But it wasn’t about me. It was about something impacting her.

Still, that self-doubt creeps in. Am I good enough? Am I prepared? What if I fail?

At one point, I used to avoid fear. I thought if I ignored it, it would go away. But that wasn’t healthy.

Now, I see fear as part of me. I accept it. And I use it.

Fear can be a motivator — it pushes you to prepare, to do better, to care. It's just energy. When you remove the “e” from “emotion,” you get “motion.” That’s what emotion is meant to do — move you.

The key is awareness. What’s your relationship with fear? What are your triggers? What have you learned about yourself through them?

Maria Melfa:
That is such good advice. And it really is true — so much of fear is tied to anxiety. When you talk to people who are working to overcome anxiety, one of the first pieces of advice they’re given is: do the thing that makes you anxious. Exposure helps.

And fear, when you break it down as you did — it’s just energy. So how we choose to direct that energy is everything.

Sam Caballero:
Exactly. That’s why I love walking. Just a good old-fashioned walk.

But not just any walk — I mean one where your shoulders are back, your head is up, you're breathing with intention. That small ritual helps me reconnect with myself.

It’s part of my battle rhythm — my personal grounding framework. I keep it simple:
 Be smooth.
 Be agile.
 Be methodical.

“Smooth” is about moving with intention.
 “Agile” is about being able to pivot without fear.
 And “methodical” is about pausing to think — even if only for a second — before you act.

Those three words anchor me, especially when imposter syndrome shows up.

Maria Melfa:
That’s such a great way to ground yourself. So when you go into an organization and work with people on this kind of transformation, how do you actually start? Do you begin with a workshop? Journaling? What’s the entry point?

Sam Caballero:
Great question.

When I work with an organization, I try to go in as objectively as possible. That’s hard to do because we all carry biases — the "B word."

Let me tell you a quick story. I grew up in Ramstein, Germany — my dad was in the Air Force. We lived in a little town called Katzweiler. There was a husband and wife — Herr and Frau Kennel — and he made coffins. A World War II veteran who had learned carpentry while he was a POW in Washington State.

Anyway, I started helping him and picked up some German. Now, sometimes when I can’t get a group’s attention during training, I’ll just start speaking in German. And you’d be surprised how many people look shocked, like, “You? Speak German?”

That’s bias.

So before I walk into any training room, I pause, take a breath, and center myself in a growth mindset. Whatever comes, comes. Be open. Be curious.

And that word “curious” comes from the same root as “cure.” Curiosity is a healing force. That’s how I lead.

When I start asking questions, I stick to “what,” “when,” “where,” and “how.” I stay away from “why” at first.

Jocelyn Allen:
That’s interesting — why avoid “why”?

Maria Melfa:
Right? Isn’t “why” the most important question?

Sam Caballero:
Eventually, yes. But if you open with “why,” people get defensive. They feel interrogated.

Imagine you walk into someone’s house and say, “Why is your couch by that window?” They’ll look at you sideways, like, “This is my space — why are you questioning it?”

So instead, you start by observing and understanding. Build the relationship first. Once you’ve done that, then you can ask “why” — and the answers you get will be richer, more honest.

Maria Melfa:
That makes so much sense. And it’s such a helpful framing, too — thinking about when and how to use “why” as a tool, not just a question.

So if we’re thinking about “why” in these different capacities — personally, professionally, and situationally — what advice do you have for leaders who are trying to discover their own “why,” and help others find theirs? How do we prevent that defensiveness but still support self-discovery?

Sam Caballero:
Years ago, I had an assignment in Japan. I was at Yokota Air Base for a few weeks. First time there, and I was amazed by everything — the respect, the culture, even the airport.

When you're flying out of Narita, look out the window — all the ground crew will be lined up, bowing as the plane departs. It’s incredible.

Same with the trains — I watched a cleaning crew of six completely clean a bullet train in under 10 minutes. Flawless.

So I asked a Japanese colleague, “What motivates people to work like that?” He said one word: Ikigai — I-K-I-G-A-I — which means “reason for being.”

It’s not just a concept. It’s a way of life. Westerners put it into a Venn diagram, but it originally wasn’t visual at all. The four main parts are:

1. Passion — not just what makes you happy, but what you’re willing to struggle for. Like exercise: it’s painful, but the result is worth it.
2. Mission — from the Spanish “misión,” like the old missions meant to spread belief systems. It’s your message, what people get from being around you.
3. Profession — what you say you do, what you’re good at.
4. Vocation — what you’re called to do, your higher purpose.

When I coach people — especially emerging leaders — I take them through those four. What brings them joy and pain. What message they carry. What they’re skilled at. And what they feel called toward.

That’s the beginning of discovering your “why.” And for some people, it can take a year. It’s not an overnight process.

Jocelyn Allen:
This is all so insightful. Especially with what we were talking about earlier — the “start with why” trend. It’s showing up everywhere because people are realizing they can’t check their identity at the door anymore. We bring our full selves to work — biology, emotion, history — all of it.

So to wrap up before we get to the fun stuff… If there’s just one thing you want people to understand about MQ, what would it be?

Sam Caballero:
The most important thing is self-awareness.

Next time you get rattled, excited, scared — pause. What triggered that? What moved you?

From there, you start to understand your patterns. You start to notice what inspires you, what drives you. That’s where it begins.

Even today — I looked forward to this. These conversations move me. They motivate me. That tells me something. I’m aware of it. So I can be intentional about where I want to go from here.

Maria Melfa:
I love that. Great way to wrap this up. Such a meaningful conversation, Sam.

Jocelyn Allen:
It really is. And thinking about motivation as something that can be measured and developed — just like intelligence or emotional awareness — is a game-changer.

So now... it’s time. David, cue the music!

David (Producer):
It’s the TTA 10 — ten final questions for our guest.

Jocelyn Allen:
All right, Sam, you know the drill. Ten rapid-fire questions. You’ve got 90 seconds. No wrong answers, but we do pass judgment on bad ones — in good fun, of course.

Answer them all in time and you’ll be a TTA 10 Champion. Ready?

Sam Caballero:
Let’s do it. I’m ready.

David (Producer):
Jocelyn, your 90 seconds start... now.

Jocelyn Allen:
What’s your favorite color?

Sam Caballero:
Air Force blue.

Jocelyn Allen:
If you were a superhero, what superpower would you want?

Sam Caballero:
Laser beams from my eyes.

Jocelyn Allen:
Should socks be worn with sandals?

Sam Caballero:
Absolutely. Das ist gut. We saw it all the time in Germany.

Jocelyn Allen:
Pick a number between 1 and 100.

Sam Caballero:
50 — that’s when I really discovered my EQ and MQ.

Jocelyn Allen:
What’s the name for fear of spiders?

Sam Caballero:
Arachnophobia.

Jocelyn Allen:
Zombie apocalypse. What’s your weapon of choice?

Sam Caballero:
Lots of water. Don’t ask me why — just water.

Jocelyn Allen:
What food did you hate as a child but love now?

Sam Caballero:
Beets.

Jocelyn Allen:
What’s six minus three?

Sam Caballero:
Three.

Jocelyn Allen:
Coolest place you’ve traveled with the Air Force?

Sam Caballero:
Yokota, Japan.

Jocelyn Allen:
If your ice cream melts, does it become soup?

Sam Caballero:
Absolutely. 100%.

Jocelyn Allen:
That’s it! Ten questions complete. David, the results?

David (Producer):
With a time of 1 minute, 20 seconds, Sam is officially a TTA 10 Champion!

Maria Melfa:
It felt even faster than that.

David (Producer):
Clock don’t lie. But now, we have a surprise…

[Cue mock commercial voice]
Hello, everyone. I am Paco, owner and operator of Mexico Lama de Cedas. But today, I want to tell you about El Motivator... Sam Caballero.

When he sat at our table, he did not flinch. He rolled the dice. He tried the escamoles. And with every crunch of those carpenter ants, he taught us the power of motivation. From “money” to “motion” to “moron” (okay maybe not that last one) — he inspired us all.

Today, everyone on staff has a name that starts with “Mo” — Moreno, Moses, Morgan, Monty...

So remember: if Señor Impostor comes knocking, El Motivator is never far behind.

Everyone:
Viva El Motivator!

Maria Melfa:
David — wow. That was your best one yet.

David (Producer):
Thank you! I hope it felt like a tribute, Sam — not misappropriation.

Sam Caballero:
It was perfect. You made my day. I’ll never forget it — thank you all so much.

Maria Melfa:
You made this episode so memorable, Sam. Thank you again for sharing your insight and your energy.

Jocelyn Allen:
To learn more about how the motivational quotient can transform your organization, visit thetrainingassociates.com.

We’ll see you next time.